8 Things that should be in place before having children


This is a question many of us need to stop and ask before we have children. It’s interesting to me that you have to take a test for everything considered important except for a paternity test. Now we’re not speaking of a paternity test as to who is the father. We’re speaking of the qualifications that should be established before you have children. It seems that there should be this seal that dissolves once you pass the test. Right now all that’s required is that you have a reproductive system that sends out eggs and is fertilized with a sperm. You don’t have to be employed, have a home, have any form of education, show any sense of responsibility, be married, or possess any common sense.

Call me crazy, but I think there’s something wrong with this process. Especially when you consider it is one of the most awesome responsibilities anyone can embark on. Imagine, you are shaping a life and conditioning that life either to be a productive citizen or a burden to society. You are giving them values that will pass down from generation to generation.

Here is a road-map, some may say it’s old fashioned, but I’ll stand by the sound principles that should guide whether or not you’re ready to have children.

It requires a man and woman to be married.
It requires a man and woman to be married.

Disclaimer – this is not meant to give you license to abort, if you have not prepared yourself accordingly. It is meant to help guide your decisions before embarking on an unprotected sexual encounter.

So you see we do have a road map. If put into succinct instructions, it would look something like this.

  1. It requires a man and woman to be married.
  2. It requires that a man be employed and that he has sufficient resources to provide food, shelter and medical care for the entire family. The father should not only be a provider but a protector and one who can show his love for his family and lead them spiritually.
  3. It requires that the woman has received instruction from an equipped woman to ensure that she understands how to love and care for her family. How to ensure that the resources her husband provides meet the family budget. Meaning she must be frugal and make each dollar the man brings home stretch as far as it can go. (This is not meant to infer that the woman cannot or should not work outside the family. You should have this discussion beforehand and both be on the same page.)
  4. It requires both father and mother to have a close walk with the Lord. A very personal relationship with Him to ensure that their instruction is in line with the wishes of God.
  5. It requires both parents to have a healthy sense of self and be willing to help their children have one also. They should be able to build and instill confidence and self-esteem in their children.
  6. It requires the parents to have a true desire to set a positive example for their children so that their children will in turn raise healthy God-centered families.
  7. It requires parents to live a selfless life – putting the welfare/best interests of their children before their own.
  8. Both parents should have a healthy ability to practice self-control. Be in control of their emotions especially anger! Children should be able to learn from their parents how to handle disappointments and disagreements.

Are these the only conditions in which one should allow themselves to bare children? Of course it’s the optimum one, but no it is not the only time that, if pregnant, one should have the child. If you find that you have not done as this road map suggests, then stop post haste and reevaluate what is missing from this checklist and see how you can remedy any area lacking to ensure that you are not encumbering the child but that you are truly giving your child a fair start in life. 


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