Why is it hard to end a relationship when you know it’s not making you happy but you stay because you don’t want to be single and start all over?
The first thing you must understand is that you do not go into a relationship in order to find happiness. Happiness should be an internal thing that you control and not someone else. You should not even begin in a relationship if you’re not already happy! An important element that you must also dissect is—what is your definition of happiness?
Ask yourself are you a naturally happy person or do you need someone or some substance to give you that happiness boost?
You must find a central focus of happiness that is not based upon a person, a job, a child, or so on. Feelings of happiness are fleeting when based upon the life of someone else. If that is your point of reference you will spend the rest of your life searching for a mythical form of happiness. You must find happiness with something that is lasting and cannot be taken away – something that will always remain a constant.
It is not only unfair, but ludicrous for you to believe that someone outside of yourself is responsible for your happiness. Truth is, if you’re not a happy person without someone is your life, you will not truly be a happy person by having someone within your life. The reason why this truth is so relevant is you will spend a life time seeking that elusive happiness when the thought is it can only come from someone being in your life. You’re under this mythical belief that he or she completes you, when that couldn’t be furthest from the truth. You should come complete into a relationship. You should not be seeking someone to complete you.
Like love, happiness, is a choice. Choose today what you will allow to be the focal point of your happiness and then don’t allow anyone or anything to rob you of your joy. Secondly, being single is not a thing to be ashamed of or a thing to be afraid of. It is during those times of singleness that you take the time to get a right prospective on your life, a reuniting with you – the beauty of you and yes even the quirkiness of you. If you can’t enjoy your own company, why would anyone want to spend time with you?
As for being afraid to start over – time is precious. None of us are getting any younger. None of us have years to waste. When you learn to love yourself, your company and clearly understand your value, your worth, then you will make choices that complement the greatness in you, and you will feel fulfilled within the confines of your internal assurance that when the right man meets you – boy or boy what a treat he is in for!